Thursday, March 1, 2012

Time and Dead Wood

Change takes time. And in our busy lives, we seem to find that to be the most a scarce commodity.

Keep a log for a week and keep track of how you spend your time.
It is as important as doing a budget and as difficult to tailor and keep.

Keep a track of the actual productive hours spent, at work, either out of the home or in it.

How much time do we feel we are producing up to your potential?
I know if I get cracking, I can have my home presentable In about an hour, including a load of laundry and putting a loaf of bread in my bread machine.

On my monthly deep cleaning days stretch that time to 3 hours.
There are many ways of budgeting your time to make the less appealing jobs more enjoyable.

 The reward is always a success. Give you self an award for completing a task you have been avoiding.
I have a plan printed out on my fridge (the community message board) that gives a general outline of what needs to be done and when.

I base mine around my home and business. If you need help generating your plan, you may need a bit of help from a life coach.

Habits that are good can be developed.  I get out of bed, throw my covers open, let my dog out, do my hygiene, dress and make my bed. (Unless it is sheet changing day)

Only then do I go into the living room. The animals are the first concern for me, I feel the bird, the fish in the pond outside and my little dog gets another run in the yard, then change her water and feed her.

Now we can have coffee, breakfast and then unload the dishwasher.

Vacuum, dust, sweep kitchen and front porch and my house is presentable. Total time? Less than one hour.

I look at my computer answer my emails, and if I am rewarding myself, I post on face book, update my log and maybe play a couple of games of scrabble. Time ha ha ha  well another hour, se we looking 10:30 or so in the eye.
I take supper meat out, and I plan what I have to do for a meal.

If I have a meeting, I can be out of the house by 10, or 11, depending on the appointment, just by cutting out the computer other than E-MAIL. ( work related) for this I have 2 email addresses.

Now lets talk about the big DECLUTTER than we spend hours of fruitless time. That of deadwood relationships.

I have friends, I love my friends and am willing to invest as much time as needed to support them and share their joys, achievement, and sadness.

But I had a group of people who, because I tend to be empathetic would use me as a sounding board.

One has an addicted abusive son of1 8 who steals, and beats her. The old adage once shame on him, the second, shame on you. If you not prepared to either, call the police, evict him from the house, or get him in reasonable rehab. There is nothing I can do for you except nod my head and say “Oh that is too bad. I am so sorry.” I am sorry.Yes  I am sorry you will not, and I mean will not deal with it. Cannot is not in my work vocabulary.

 How many hours a week do you spend listen to different versions of the same sob story? Sorry folks, but this is a dead wood relationship.

They feel unburdened for a very brief time, and you feel used. It colours the rest of your day or week. You cannot help them. They must help themselves.

Invest one more session in outlining their options. Then next time they call advise them that you have too many neat projects on right now and have not time to listed, again advise them of the name of a professional, and bid them a pleasant day and hang up.

Only you know the dead wood you are dealing with. A going nowhere partner, an adult child who will not take control of their own life but won’t let you help, just wants to whine, groups or organizations too can rob you of life joy or time. If you do not get something back in a relationship, then it is dead wood.

The other dead wood is the TV. My son likes to watch the news during breakfast, if a program starts after the news, it will suck in my attention and there is one of my precious hours gone from my 24 a day.

It may sound unfeeling and cruel, but in the end, you will have more time for the things you enjoy, and no heavy burden of logs on your back from others misery.

You will find you have more time, a better attitude and you will not meet your partner with those dreaded words " do you know what x did to Y TODAY!!!"  I don't mean do not share, you can share your good bad and ugglies with a friend or relative . But it is your good bad and ugglies or theirs, a 2 way street. You get something out of the relationship.

I have a phone honesty agreements with my friends. The first thing they and I day is " Do you have time to talk?" If I do I simply say " yes". If I am on way to other things I may answer " I can give you five minutes, but I will have more time after supper" This is a contract. We both know how long we can talk. The after supper may be a half hour gab session, but we both are aware of the ground rules, and no one is hurt if I say "Not at the moment." No apology, or explanation is needed.

More later. I have earned a treat. I am going to spin some beautiful fleece I bought at the spin in.

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